Bastila's Interviews
by Mediator Zhang
Summary: Bastila interviews the KotOR characters and tries to pry out hidden secrets...
1. Chapter 1: Juhani

**Disclaimer: I don't own KotOR(Wish I did P).**

**_Bastila's Interview_**

Bastila: Welcome to 'Bastila's Interviews', and today, we have Juhani the "cat Jedi"

(Juhani comes in scratching like hell)

Bastila: Juhani, what's wrong?

Juhani: It itches!

Bastila: Whatever, first question: What went through your mind when you struck down your Master, Quatra?

Juhani: Oh…it itches like mad! (scratches like non-stop)What did you say? I didn't hear you-Eek!

(Juhani scratches until her skin nearly tears and dashes out of the room)

Juhani: I've…got…to go …get a…bath!

Bastila: sigh…what's this itch? (Bastila scratches her leg)it's spreading! Juhani had fleas and some of them got onto meee! (Runs out screaming hell)

(Revan steps in)

Revan: Due to unforeseen circumstances that even the Force could not predict, 'Bastila's Interviews' will be cancelled for now. Stay tuned next week for more right here on the Galactic Rimless Channel! XD

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This is really short, cause I was just starting on this. Will do longer ones the next time, I promise! >. 


	2. Chapter 2: Carth

Disclaimer: I don't own KotOR Bastila's Interviews II 

Bastila: Welcome to 'Bastila's Interviews'! Today, we have Carth! Whiny, dorky and irresistible pilot of the Ebon Hawk!

(Carth walks in showing off his blaster pistols)

Bastila: Force Persuade You will stop showing off and do the interview.

Carth:Success I will stop showing off and do the interview.(sits down on armchair)

Bastila: Whew! First question: What do you think of Revan?

Carth: She's beautiful, headstrong and big 'promoter' of the Republic.

Bastila: Uh-hum. Second question: What are your plans now that the Sith are defeated?

Carth: Um…I plan to rebuild Telos and my relationship with Dustil, still can't believe he's alive! Oh and um…uh…propose to HER.

Bastila: HER! You mean Revan?

Carth: Who else do you think is HER? I hope she will forgive my paranoia…

Bastila: Hmm… last question: What do you wish for most?

Carth: Hmm…this is kinda' of tough, well… I wish everything will go well for me and that I won't lose someone dear to me again.

Bastila: Well! This didn't go as bad as Juhani's! Glad speaking to you and- where are you going?

Carth: Sorry Bastila, gotta look for Revan.

(Carth exits the room)

Bastila: Oh well! This the end of 'Bastila's Interviews' and stay tuned next week for more on the Galactic Rimless Channel! 

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Another episode done! Woopee! At least it was longer… heheh…Review Please!


	3. Chapter 3: Revan

**Disclaimer: I DON'T own KotOR**

Bastila's Interviews III

Bastila: Hello all and now we begin…'Bastila's Interviews'! Today, we have…? Oh! … we have Revan! Good afternoon, Revan.

(Revan sits in the armchair looking nervous)

Revan: Afternoon to you too, Bastila.

Bastila: First question: Why did you disappear in KotOR 2?

Revan: Well, Obsidian didn't do their job well and even had the Exile guess my gender, argh! But that's besides the point. I went to Tatooine and had a **GOOD** tan, Mannan for a holiday and Korriban for a research on the Sith!

Bastila: Whoa… ok, second question: Do you know that Carth wants to propose to you?

Revan: WHAT! Really! I had no idea! Well… he did drop hints and clues but I didn't understand them.

Bastila: Now you know, last question: How do you feel about 'The Redemption Of Revan' aka you!

Revan: Serving the Light sure is better than the Dark, I just can't stand Master Vrook, stupi- wait…"there is no emotion; there is peace…" Well, he can be soooo irritating!

Bastila: Well, can't blame him! Thank you for spending your time doing this interview with us.

Revan: Pleasure, was nice to do this wonderful and brilliant interview! (Light Side points gained)

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Whew! Finally uploaded a new chapter of Bastila's Interviews. I'm so sorry I didn't update earlier! I had a lot of stuff on my mind. To make up for it, I uploaded4 chapters at 1 shot this time. R&R as always please!


	4. Chapter 4: Jolee

**Disclaimer: Don't own KotOR, no I don't.**

Bastila's Interviews IV

Mission: Hello everyone! Bastila's is on medical leave today so I'll be doing the questioning! Yay! Today, we have-ARRRGH! Jolee Bindo? Oh my gawd! Well, I have no choice, or do I? Well! Let's get the show on the road!

Jolee: Roses are red, violets are blue-

Mission: Shuddup Jolee and COME HERE!

Jolee: Geez… you young people today are so damn impatient! Blahblahblah……….

(20 minutes later…)

(Everyone is dozing off)

Jolee: Hey, get up! First you tell people to shut up and now when I have, you're sleeping away! Well! If I'm not needed, I'll just pack and leave!

(Jolee gets up and storms towards the door)

Mission: Uh-huh…(drool) I want my brother…wait a minute, I hate him…

(Bastila enters weakly)

Bastila: Can we ever cough not cough have interrupted interviews…? cough I guess that's the cough end of Bastila's Interviews…

(Bastila wobbles out of the room but turns back and Force Storms the whole room)

EVERYONE: **_AAAAHHH!_**

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Ahh... Chapter IV... Won't have much to note here... This chapter is so short... I tried, I really did!


	5. Chapter 5: Mission

**Disclaimer: I don't own KotOR.**

_**Bastila's Interviews V**_

Bastila: Hello everyone and welcome to Bastila's Interview! And today, we have…Mission!

(Mission walks in)

Bastila: Hello Mission, I hope you are having a good time at your boarding school?

Mission: Well…it's okay…

Bastila: Well, first question: Did you manage to patch things up with Griff?

Mission: Yeah well, I did but I told him that I would not give HIM another chance. If he ditches me again, I'm gonna put a blaster hole between his eyebrows!

Bastila: Er… isn't that a bit _violent_? I mean, he IS your brother after all.

Mission: Yeah, I know, but I can't keep on like this.

Bastila: Okay, second question: How's Lena?

Mission: (Scowls) Why are you asking me that? Wouldn't it be better to ask her herself?

Bastila: You know, I don't have a choice but keep to the script ya' know?

(Bastila shoots a glance at the Producer)

Bastila: Anyway…last question: How have you been coping after the defeat of Malak and the Sith?

Mission: Well, I'm quite 'famous' at school, you know, helping Revan defeat THE Dark Lord is a big thing, but other then that, life's been pretty normal.

Bastila: That's nice to hear. Thank you, Mission, for coming here to do this little interview.

Mission: It's a pleasure.

(Mission walks out of the studio, a few Twi'leks following her.)

Bastila: And thank you for watching another episode of Bastila's Interviews. Next week, we have… Canderous! Stay tuned on the Galactic Rimless Channel!

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Chapter V! Hope you enjoyed it! R&R!


	6. Chapter 6: Canderous

**Disclaimer: KotOR doesn't belong to me.**

_**Bastila's Interviews VI**_

Bastila: Welcome to the sixth episode of 'Bastila's Interviews'! (Thinks to herself, "We're lucky we made it to the sixth episode.) And today we have… ohmygawd! Are my eyes going? Today we have… Canderous…(sighs)

(Canderous walks in holding his heavy blaster)

Bastila: Hello… um… what ARE you going to use that blaster for?

Canderous: To shoot you down if you're gonna ask me any ridiculous and worthless questions.

(Bastila flinches but quickly regains her posture.)

Bastila: Okay… Question number 1: What is it like being a barba- I mean, Mandelorian?

Canderous: Did I hear you say barbarian?

(Canderous readies his gun)

Bastila: Hey… let's not be too hasty! Just answer the question!

(Canderous lowered the blaster)

Canderous: It feels great when you crush some pathetic cringing life-form that begs for mercy everytime you start staring at it.

(Bastila sweatdropped.)

Bastila: Okay… Question number 2: Will you ever go for an anger management class?

Canderous: WHAT!

(Canderous readies his gun again and aims it at Bastila)

Bastila: I knew we would have to come down to this.

(Bastila turns her lightsaber on and flourished it.)

Canderous and Bastila start fighting it out it studio. While the audience were running for dear life.

(Revan pops in)

Revan: This ALWAYS happens when Candeorus is around… Last time, he almost killed Mission because she asked him, "Why are you so dumb?" Well, this is the end of another interrupted episode of 'Bastila's Interviews'. And next time, we'll interview the interviewer herself, Bastila!

(Bastila and Canderous are still fighting.)

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A/N: Haha... Canderous can keep fighting Bastila all day long and it'll never end. R&R:)


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